Journal 18 | To The Companies That…

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Career / Personal

… overlooked me, doubted me, rejected me, and ghosted me — Thank you.

And to the company that employed me for just shy of four years, but who refused to acknowledge my value in those final months… thank you, too!

Without the repeated rejection, disappointment, and frustration; without that acute loss of worth as both an employee and an individual, I wouldn’t be where I am at this very moment: Experiencing a flood of relief and excitement as I accept the offer of a new job with a company that was able to recognize all that you weren’t.

F*ck yes!

The road to get here was not easy in the least. I have never experienced bouts of uncertainty as much as I have in the last six or so months. And that uncertainty managed to trickle into nearly every facet of my life —

I’m actually not that good of a writer, am I? I’m such a deadbeat employee, aren’t I? God, I’m so bad with handling money. I’m unmotivated. And so ugly, too! I’m a horrible friend, aren’t I? I just need to move back to California and call it, huh? Ugh, what’s the point of anything, really. At this point, I may as well just ditch the working world (and all of civilization while we’re at it) and become a recluse in the woods!

*Takes a deep breath*

When it comes down to it, I’ve just been so tired. Who knew sticking up for yourself was so exhausting?

Now that I find myself on the other side of all that self-doubt, I’d like to say that it was worth it. But truth be told, it wasn’t. I genuinely wouldn’t wish the way that I felt for the better half of this year on anyone. Am I more resilient today and more steadfast in my worth because of what I’ve managed to overcome? Definitely. But I don’t think anyone should have to be constantly told no or be criticized and slighted in order to get to that healthy place. It’s dangerous.

So here’s my unsolicited advice to you — from one unqualified human to another:

The job hunt is not for the faint of heart. But for those who are in the thick of it, I promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You might not see it now. Heck, you might not even see it six months from now. But it’s there. It’s probably just clouded by the asinine excuses dished out to you by companies X, Y, and Z about why you’re not worth what you most definitely are worth (lol can you tell I’m just a tad bit bitter). The truth is, you’re going to be told no more than you’d like to hear… if you’re even lucky enough to get a response back.

It’s going to hurt when you ask for a raise or a title change or more work and you’re repeatedly shut down. It’s going to suck when you put yourself out there and then don’t hear back from that company that you’ve interviewed with three times and followed-up with five. It’ll sting when you made it to the final round of interviews and you weren’t the one with the offer letter in your inbox. Your ego is going to take hit after hit. Unless you’re the luckiest person on the planet, I can promise you all of this is likely going to fall on you.

But —

Every door that closes is a door that was supposed to be closed. Those “nos” that you are enduring, hard as they are to take, are just ensuring that you continue to move in the direction that you’re meant to. The right role is there. It exists. It just might not be as shiny and attractive as some of those other ones appear to be. Sometimes you’ve gotta brush away some of the dirt and dust to find the treasure.

Don’t sell yourself short. You are worth it. You will always be worth it.


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